Lesson 3: Patience

You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.
–Mike Litman

Lesson 3 Patience

Welcome to lesson 3, in this lesson we are going to take a look at patience and take a little quiz to see how patient you are. I will also be giving you some tips to help you become more patient and get you thinking of ways to help increase your patience. This is also going to be a two part lesson since you need to learn how to be patient with yourself as well as the world. So let's get started!
"The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and     Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the     overcoming of it." 
`Helen Keller
"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the  strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."
~Harriet Tubman

These two quotes are very appropriate for today’s lesson since learning how to be patient with yourself now that you are disabled will be challenging at times. Harriet Tubman reminds us that we have it within ourselves to dream. Helen Keller reminds us that we can overcome our challenges. Trust me I know that your patience will be tried. However, I hope that I can help you learn to be at least a little more patient with yourself after you finish this lesson.

Let’s start with a little quiz to see how patient you are with yourself:
Using a scale from 1 – 10 (1 meaning not at all – 10 meaning all the time)
1. I feel so frustrated I want to throw something.
2. I give up after only 1 or 2 tries because I get to frustrated.
3. I get mad at myself because I think I “should” be able to do _____and I can’t seem to figure it out.
4. I yell at others because they try to help me.
5. The harder I try the worse it gets.

Okay, so what was your average number was it closer to a 1 or a 10? Now let’s take a look at each question and see why we may respond the way we do.
1. I feel so frustrated I want to throw something.
For those of you that put down a high number on this one, I’m right there with you. The lack of patience leads to lack of control so throwing something helps to release some of the energy and give you control over something. So this is not the best thing to do. Remember you will probably have to pick it up. If you are blind good luck finding it, and if you are in a wheelchair, good luck picking it up. So I hope you get my point why this is not a good option.
2. I give up after only 1 or 2 tries because I get to frustrated.
For those of you that wrote down a high number on this one, I can understand your frustration. But, if you give up, how will the task get done?
3. I get mad at myself because I think I “should” be able to do _____and I can’t seem to figure it out.
This is a tricky one, since the word “should” in many people’s opinion should not be in our language. So although I am with you on this one, give yourself a break, you may be able to do the task at a later time.
4. I yell at others because they try to help me.
Okay, so I am guessing that this was a high one. People that love us want to help and do not always understand that we need to try to do things ourselves. You may feel bad for yelling, but’ trying talking to your loved ones instead.
5. The harder I try the worse it gets.
Many times you have to take a break if something starts to get more difficult. Once it starts to become harder just stop, because you probably will not get it until you stop and then go back a little bit later.
Now that you have an idea of why you may do some of the things you do, have you started to come up with any ideas of ways to be more patient? First, you have to remember that even though you are the same person inside, your body may not work the same way it did in the past. So above all be nice and loving to yourself. Remember that frustration is normal. This quote sums up what I am trying to say:

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven.”
~Alan Cohen

Here are a few tips to help you be more patient not only with yourself but with others:
1. Breathe – take long deep breaths, in through the nose out through the mouth
2. Take a walk – get away from the situation for a little bit. When you come back you will be refreshed.
3. Take a bubble bath
4. Watch some TV
5. Listen to some of your favorite music
6. Play with your pet if you have one
7. Call someone
8. Clean – okay may not sound relaxing, but it gets your mind off the problem
9. Take a nap
10. Read

Can you add to the list?
With the second part of this lesson we are going to take a quick look at being patient with our loved ones and with getting places.
First, our loved ones and people in general tend not to have any idea how to treat a person that is disabled. It is much easier if you know the person then you can talk to them and explain what you need. It is not always that easy with people that you do not know. You will have to explain what you need more than once and this is where your patience comes in. Just remember to use the tips above; to help you developed your skills. Be prepared to educate people as to your disability, you may be the only person they have met with a disability. I am always aware of the fact that people may not know any other disabled person so I always want to come across polite since I feel like I am a representative of the whole population (I know it’s not fair, but that is how it is).
“A setback is a setup for a comeback.”
`T.D. Jakes

When it comes to trying to get somewhere, be prepared to wait! We will cover this more in the next two lessons, for now make sure you always have something to do with you. Skills for patience come in very handy when traveling, so you will get lots of practice.
Our next lesson we are going to cover flexibility, so stay tuned in! Don’t forget to post your thoughts in our private Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/10lessonempowerment/

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