H stands for Help

H Stands for Help

Most people do not like to ask for help, and I used to be one of them. Asking for help was a sign of weakness. If you are now disabled you will need help. I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but, you really cannot do everything by yourself anymore. Please trust me on this one. I have been there, done that, and now ask for help.

Let’s take a look at what help means, at least as a verb. The following is from dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/help?s=t)

Verb (used with object)

  1. To give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist:

2 to save; rescue; succor:

  1. To make easier or less difficult; contribute to; facilitate:

  2. To be useful or profitable to:

So if you read the first definition it states that the help is necessary. If this is the case you should not be embarrassed to ask for help. Please realize that you have a need not a want and that there is a difference. Remember you now need to consider your safety. While you do need to push yourself to be self sufficient, you need to be safe.

I have learned when asking for help if you do not make a big deal out of your request, and just ask it is generally received well. You need to know what you want and try not to keep asking the same person for help all the time. There may be some things that you have to ask for help for now that you can figure out how to do with some practice. People as a general rule like to help, but they cannot help you unless you ask.

One thing you can do when you need help is offer to do something for that person. That way it is more of a barter situation and it becomes a win, win for both people. Just because you may be disabled does not mean that you can’t do something nice for the person that is helping you. Of course make sure you thank the person that helps you and depending on what they do you may want to do more than say thank you. I had a Sunday School class come over and paint my front porch, and as a way to say thanks and show how much I appreciated it I made a big pot of chicken corn soup (it is very popular here) and we all had a nice lunch together. They did not expect it, but it made everyone feel good. It made me feel good that I could do something nice for them and it made them feel good since I was showing them that I appreciated what they were doing for me.

I am sorry I started rambling and this newsletter got a little long. Please remember that is not a bad thing that you may need to ask for help, everyone at some point needs help. Just remember to say thank you.

Yvonne Garris

Fresh Outlook Coach

Helping the newly disabled create their new life

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